When I was 20, I had what I can only describe as an identity crisis.

I didn't really know who I was, where I belonged or what was expected of me. It seemed that whatever I tried to do, whoever I tried to be, someone would be sure to criticise.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother when all the odds are stacked against me I'm Indian, I'm Muslim and I'm a girl. Could it get any harder!

Times have changed and with that, expectations have changed too. We are freer' than ever before. But some expectations will take centuries to abolish.

Over the next couple of issues, I will try to highlight the unbreakable rules' and discuss the best possible way to deal or ignore them!

Rule #1 Regardless of how little or much you want to, you will have to marry. Very few Asians escape the shackles of marriage. Ok let me rephrase that very few Asian girls escape the dreaded wedding vows.

Even in today's society, where we are beginning to move out of our parental homes before marriage to pursue our own ambitions, it's never a question of whether you will marry but when you will marry and who. Will he be a doctor? Or maybe a solicitor?

If you're lucky, you'll get off lightly and get to marry a businessman!! Only joking.

Bottom line is though, this is the one rule that very few of us get to break.

Many of us may manage to throw the wedding planners off our scent till we reach our thirties, but you know what they say you can run, but you can't hide. That wedding ring will catch up with you!!

Rule #2 Picture this it's Friday night. It's been a hard week at work so you're about to settle down in front of the TV to watch that DVD that's been begging for your attention for the past month, or you're about to step out for the night.

The doorbell rings and you find your relatives from London standing on your doorstep. We've all been there.

So what can we do about it? Simple answer: nothing. Indians will be Indians. There's no such thing as courteous phone calls enquiring whether or not you'll be free to entertain them.

If you have plans, you'll cancel and of course you'll be available to take them wherever they want to go. You are after all their own personal taxi service, which leads me on very nicely to our next rule.

Rule #3 Boys pass their driving tests' as it's their ticket to freedom. A car bought by daddy, a gang of friends, money (again from daddy's back pocket) and an open road, what more could they ask for?

In contrast, the moment an Asian girl passes her driving test, the aunties begin jumping for joy. Finally, someone to take them where they want, when they want without dear old uncle-ji standing overhead telling them to hurry.

What annoys me is they don't even wait to ask you whether you have time, they just assume you will and we being the polite, chivalrous girls that we are find it too hard to correct them. So what can we do? Simple just say no. Or do what I do and pretend your car's at the garage.

Rule #4 Housework is the bane of my life. Well okay, let's not get too carried away but I definitely wouldn't call it a hobby.

Why is it that Asian men have a complete inability to clean-up after themselves whilst our female elders seem to lose the will to even think about housework the moment a girl walks into their home.

Take me for example: I'm blessed with parents' that understand a need for me to stand on my own two feet. Yet weekend visits culminate in me spending the entire weekend (I kid you not) doing housework!!

My point is, regardless of how little your parents are willing to interfere with your life, two things will never change: One, Asian men don't do cleaning, at least not to our standards.

High maintenance they like to call us.

And two, there will always be place for you in the kitchen. And behind the ironing board. And behind the vacuum cleaner. You get the picture don't you? Question is, what can we do to change this?

Nothing. Trust me, I've tried every trick in the book and nothing seems to have worked so far. Having said that though, I'm always open to ideas So yes, we may have come leaps and bounds when it comes to lifestyle, fashion and holidays abroad, but very little has changed when it comes to matters of the house. There are some traditions that just aren't meant to be broken.