I will never leave my wife. I would never do that to her. She is a good woman who always puts me first.
She looks after me and my children and keeps my home running so well that I have nothing to worry about.
But physically I am not attracted to her at all.
There is no chemistry there at all.
When we talk, we talk like cousins, it's friendly and platonic.
But sexually there is nothing between us.
I can tell that sex is an obligation for her. She never complains but she would never initiate it and only does it as part of what she thinks is her wifely duty.
I always think about other women when I am having sex with my wife. That's the truth.
Sometimes I watch stuff beforehand secretly. I always take viagra. She has no idea.
I can't admit this to her because to be honest I am a little ashamed of myself.
You can't leave your loyal partner over lack of compatibility in bed.
But I hate that I have to resort to being dirty in secret.
My secrecy is a means to an end.
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