The modern desi gentleman…sounds almost like a paradox. A new study has determined what qualities a modern day gentleman should have.

According to this research, the 21st century gentleman never uses Twitter.

Who are we kidding? Twitter is the new haven for those salacious types that used to breed with reclusive anonymity on Facebook. You know who you are.

One friend, Naheed, received a friend request from a chap, who we discovered after conducting some legitimate cyber stalking, had 75 female friends whose names were all Naheed.

Romance is just not what it used to be.

It’s awfully confusing. You have these so called etiquette experts dispensing this sort of advice, and then you have modern day fairy tales like Kim and Kanye where he sings lovingly “I wanny f*** you on the sink, then give you something to drink.”

Hmm…has anyone actually fallen for that line?

And in keeping with romance...

Next, a good man ‘only makes love on his elbows.’ Er, no comment. But seriously??

'A gentleman doesn’t dispense unsolicited advice.' It is an undisputable part of the Asian DNA to dispense unsolicited advice.

One divorced friend was approached by a committee member in the mosque who informed her she should seriously considering remarrying as there was a list in the mosque the size of his arm of desperate men seeking a wife. Charming.

According to this study, the modern day gentleman is always on time. Well that’s a lost concept with Asian people.

Furthermore, the man who epitomises a ‘gentleman’ occasionally gets drunk, but never disorderly. Fact: when Asian man drinks, he ALWAYS gets disorderly.

And this is a good one. The modern gentleman ‘Is mindful of others' financial circumstances.’

You have to pity the Asian man who today is still subjected to the gruelling rishta ritual which pretty much defies the above advice, and where standard ice breakers include:

“How much do you earn?”

“Are you renting?”


“Is your car on credit?”


We conducted our own survey as to what entails a modern day Asian gentleman.

1) He doesn’t call his parents MummyJee or DaddyJee.

2) He can make his own chapatti.

3) He doesn’t play Xbox above the age of 30.

4) He knows the difference between the washing machine and the floor.

5) He comprehends the basic difference between mother and wife.


Actually, forget all of the above. If he answers your text in ten minutes, he’s a keeper.